


Be Our Guest

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam couldn't seem to get beyond Idol's long reach.  He couldn't deny that the publicity and money kept him visible and productive in the U.S. but he was beginning to feel like he did before Idol even began.  Adam wondered if this was it.  Was this what his life was going to be?  Was it enough?  He decided to get all he could out of the experience, to just go with it and see what happened next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder what would happen if Adam were on the Idol judges' panel if only as a guest. There are so many questions in the man's career right now, my imagination crafted a story around it. The Idol finale season 12 is tomorrow night, so Adam's role in the proceedings are already set. I wrote a "what if" situation that meandered down a very different path than I intended. What follows is pure fiction. I don't know any of these people, nor do I intend any insult by basing my characters on actual people. There is no relationship beyond the corners of my mind.

“I can’t believe they want me to do both. First I’m singing and now subbing in for Nikki too?”

“NIgel himself would consider it a special favor.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time. So what’s the offer?”

“A little more than you asked the first time.” The assistant made a wee space between her thumb and index finger.

Adam huffed. “When Uncle Nigel grovels, I always think of Monty Python for some reason - such a joke.”

“It would be good publicity.”

“For them.” The assistant didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to remind Adam the U.S. dry spell was becoming a drought. “They could have had me legit, on the panel months ago.”

“You told 19 to go fuck themselves.”

“There’s no love lost in that camp. Nigel only cares about the show. The recording contracts always piss him off anyway.”

“I met him at a business dinner after season 8.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and he looked worried, like really worried. Nobody understood what was bothering him. Idol was at the top. Now four years later, and Nigel’s brain child will never be anything more than a vegetable. He knows it’s time to pull the plug.”

Adam rubbed his forehead. “I hate this fucking show. I really do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Make a counter offer. If Nigel wants CPR, the price on this rent-a-bitch just went up.”

“Right away.”

“So who am I singing with again?”

“Angie, uh . . . Miller.”

“Was that the one I liked?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Adam got confirmation for a final figure that suited him, the drama wasn’t over. Arrangements for the duet with Angie were solid, but the judges’ panel was still under negotiation. They wanted to move Randy away from Mariah given the current circumstances of their split, and once again Adam resisted. Adam had already decided he wanted to be next to Keith. They had met once before on his own Idol finale when Keith sang with Kris Allen. Keith had come to watch Adam rehearse with KISS. He wanted to shake his hand and tell him he was awesome. Adam suspected that his chemistry with Keith on this season’s finale would give the show the electroshock its failing heart required. Nigel gave in but only because he said he had changed his mind. He didn’t want to confuse the audience which really meant he didn’t want to admit that the Mariah-Randy debacle was a thing - just one big happy family of cannibals and fame whores.

Adam would be singing with Angie, the semi-finalist who came in third. Early on, she had been a major contender to win the title. Of course, Adam knew how that could change in the blink of an eye. He was sorry for her disappointment of course, but since her fate was already determined, she might loosen up a little for their performance. Maybe they could have some fun. He met Angie and they worked out an arrangement with the help of Michael Orland. He arrived for the final rehearsal the day before airing. In addition to gracing the stage he would also hold court on the panel as a guest judge. The story would be simple. Ryan would put on his blank face when he announced Nikki’s absence, that Nicki had a very inconvenient yet unavoidable personal matter that forced her to miss the last call. The overzealous prompters would encourage sympathetic awwws from the audience followed immediately with bipolar cheers when Ryan introduced Adam as their guest. They could have finished with only the three remaining judges, but the previous week, the showing of Adam’s promo package raised their ratings such a significant degree, Nigel wanted his face on the screen as much as possible. If the viewers at home suspected Adam might be a permanent addition to the panel next season, it could carry interest until audition taping began. He needed to buy time. For the finale, Adam didn’t have to do anything but offer encouraging commentary and look pretty.

The staff swarmed Adam as soon as he stepped onto the set. He was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic inside the circle of their worship and chomped his gum with nervous energy. He saw Keith approaching and casually peeled off his shades. 

“Hey, man.” Adam held out a handshake which Keith took eagerly and pulled him into a guy hug.

“You have no idea how fucking glad I am to see you, Adam.”

“Well, I’m fucking glad to see you too.” 

An assistant interrupted their face time. “Whenever you’re ready, Mr. Lambert, Miss Miller is on her way. We’ll do lighting first then sound check.”

“Okay, cool.” Then to Keith. “I guess we’re jumping right into it, then.”

“Yeah, I came down to see you, to watch this.”

“Well, there won’t be any pyro this time.”

“I’ve seen you sing. You don’t need any extra fire up there.”

The Aussie accent, the wink, and the bright white smile made Adam glow. This was going to be fun. After he got the performance prepared exactly the way he wanted it to the minutest detail, they sang through it a few times then Adam gave Angie a hug. He didn’t want to bulldoze her, but she seemed to be looking for guidance. She was a lot more relaxed than when they first met. She was good. He enjoyed singing with her and couldn’t help but feel a brotherly responsibility. He shook hands and thanked each member of the band with generous appreciation. They beamed back at him. The veterans who had been there even as far back as season 8 elbowed the gushing newbies saying, “See! Now that’s how you do it. That’s a fucking star!”

Keith clapped Adam on the back. “That was terrific. Really, really great.”

“Thanks. It feels good to be back.” 

“You’re going to blow them away.”

“Singing is the easy part. I’m just a little concerned about the whole judging drama.”

Keith waved his worries away. “Piece ‘a cake. I’ll be in your corner, mate. It’ll be a relief to sit by someone who smells as nice as you.”

“What?!”

“It’s Nikki. She farts.”

Adam was shocked and laughed outright. “No way.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“It had to be Randy.”

“Nope. Trust me, she did absolutely everything she could do to be difficult.”

“That’s so gross. I promise I will try to control all my bodily functions when I’m up there with you.”

“Well, I’m not sure I can control mine.”

“Oh really?” Adam let the innuendo dissolve in the air.

Keith grinned. “Crying. I’m a bit of a softy. I’ve been known to tear up for the kids up there.”

“I hear ya. I’ve been known to get a little moist myself.” 

Keith nudged him playfully. “We’re going to get along just fine.”

“I’m looking forward to it. And thanks for coming down to watch my rehearsal.”

“It was my pleasure.” They shook hands again and parted ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nigel was elsewhere, probably doing damage control over Nikki’s contract. Adam met with another rather humble exec, who had gotten caught in the crossfire. Keeping with the image of Idol’s death throes already in Adam’s head, the poor guy looked as weary as a surgeon working emergency triage on a battlefield. It really was that bad. Adam began to feel the weight on his shoulders. It was a character flaw, he knew, to take responsibility for everything – part of his control issues. Adam could fix things because he was often the most capable person in the room. He set too high a standard for himself to shirk an obligation and not give his all.

Adam stayed longer than necessary just to see if there was anything else he could do. He honored the two finalists, Candice and Kree by sticking around to applaud their rehearsals. They were thrilled and scared but hopeful. They listened intently to Adam’s advice and thanked him profusely for the pep talk. Adam suddenly felt a tug of nostalgia. He remembered. Idol had saved him. Idol had made him. Fuck Nigel and 19 and all those greedy bastards trying to make a buck off these kids, but dammit, the dream was still alive in them. In spite of all the bullshit, Adam’s dream had been realized, at last on that very stage four years ago. He beat the odds. He went the distance. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the days that followed, some of the headlines would read: 

“Adam Lambert Crowned Winner of American Idol Season 12”

“Nikki Who?”

“Highest Ratings for Idol’s Fiercest Alum”

“The Reigning Queen of Shade Gets Out-Diva’d by the King of Glam!” 

That last title had a photo of Adam smiling radiantly while Mariah was looking away. At that moment, she was actually trying to keep her balance after Randy accidentally bumped her. He put his big clumsy paws on Adam’s shoulders like clutching a retirement trophy. This was Randy’s very own MVP because he was there for season 8, bitches - said from day one that Adam was in it to win it. He called it first, team Adam! Yay, for Randy. It was his swansong, one last claim to fame as he stood on stage for the very last time.

Adam waved at the audience and blew a kiss hello to deafening cheers and applause. Keith moved him to their side of the judging table and let him go in front. “Be my guest.” Adam grinned and accepted the gentlemanly gesture. Their flirting was not lost on Ryan or on Nigel for that matter. Nigel seemed to be wringing his hands a lot and wearing the Joker’s grimace for a smile. There was a lot riding on this finale. In fact, it could very well be THE two definitive episodes in the history of the show. Could they beat the Voice? Would it even be close? Desperation tended to make everyone a little anxious. This finale had to go well.

Throughout the night, Adam listened intently to the performances and stunned everyone once again with his clarity and wit. He spoke real words that had real meaning. He agreed a lot with Keith which was flattering. Sometimes they got distracted conversing with one another. Ryan drew attention to their budding bromance. “Uh, guys, we could go to commercial and come back later if you like.”

The audience laughed, sort of embarrassed for Ryan’s jealousy, and the program commenced to bore the hell out of everyone until it was Adam’s turn to talk again. Occasionally, Keith would lean over to whisper in Adam’s ear filling him in on parts he’d missed during the regular season. Keith sensed in Adam an ally. His comments were now totally unfiltered, and his whiskers were ticklish. Adam had to stifle a case of the giggles on more than one occasion. In contrast, looking into Keith’s eyes was a little disconcerting. He had something on his mind, but Adam welcomed the mischief. He was having such a good fucking time.

Ryan implored the viewers at home to vote pretending they had a chance to achieve record numbers for two of the most talented contestants of all time. Yeah, whatever. These two women were both very, very good, and Adam knew from firsthand experience that whatever happened tomorrow wouldn’t matter, at least not the way anyone expected.

The following night, Adam felt like a pro up there, but he didn’t have much to do as a judge. He focused instead on his performance. When the duets began, Adam was excused to get ready. Adam had just finished dressing when the stage manager knocked. “Ten minutes, Mr. Lambert.”

“Thank you.” Adam smoothed the sides of his hair and tugged at the cuffs of his jacket. At another knock, he went to the door, ready to go, but it wasn’t the staff. It was Keith. “Oh, hey. What’s up?” 

Keith was temporarily stunned by the vision before him. He wolf whistled. “Wow, you look dynamite.” The accent was extra thick, and Adam feared he might be blushing. All this special attention was beginning to get to him.

“Well, I try.” 

“Listen, I know you’re getting ready to go on, so I’ll make this quick. Uh, Nicole is in the audience tonight.”

“Yes, I know. I saw her. She’s incredible.”

“Yeah, charming girl . . . lovely, lovely wife.”

Keith seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say, so Adam made conversation. “I saw her recently in a movie with Zac Efron. Uh, The Postman?”

“The Paperboy.”

“Shit. I always get it wrong.”

“There is another movie by that name, though . . . “

“I know, right – a similar story.”

“Actually, about Zac . . .”

There was a bustling at the door. “Five minutes Mr. Lambert.”

Adam acknowledged the update. “You were saying? You know Zac?”

“Nevermind about that. Look here, I . . . Nicole is out there, and she’s kind of jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, because I get to be with you tonight.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.”

“She wants to meet you. In fact, she’s insisted that you be our guest this evening after the show.”

“Really?”

“There’s the after party and press junket, but hopefully we can finish that bullshit soon enough.”

“That’s very kind of you, but . . .”

“It’s not formal or anything, just a few friends.”

“You don’t have to . . . “

“Adam, my wife has taken a liking to you . . . and so have I. It’ll hurt my feelings if you say no.”

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?”

“You know how quick I cry?”

Adam laughed. “It sounds like fun. I’d love to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nigel stepped out from backstage. Ryan noticed how calm he had become, perhaps finally resolved to the inevitable. Whatever was going to happen, would happen, no matter what. There was nothing else left to do. Ryan was optimistic. “He’s good for Angie. Maybe they can do something on her album. She might do even better than the winner, you know?” 

Nigel huffed. “Perfect. He’s good at upstaging us all, isn’t he?”

Ryan was determined to get Nigel to admit it was going well. “Adam’s killing it out there! The ratings are going to skyrocket tonight.”

“They’d better. He’s costing me a fortune.”

“What the hell is your problem? Look, maybe he isn’t America’s sweetheart like Kelly and Carrie, but in a way, he’s gone much further than they could. Adam is more than a ‘singing sensation.’ He’s brought social awareness on a global scale to our stage. Adam is the real American Idol, at least that’s the way the rest of the world sees it – an international star. Wasn’t that what you always wanted?”

Nigel laughed bitterly. “Jesus, you sound just like Fuller. Don’t be such a lovesick idiot! Adam signed Idol’s death sentence. He ruined us. He ruined everything.”

Ryan shook his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’d rather eat my cake, thank you very much.” Nigel turned and walked away disappearing into the darkness from whence he came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan read the winner’s name. The lights came up and the cameras came out. The contestants were showcased in the press room, but afterward, everyone wanted pictures of Adam and Keith together in front of the publicity curtain. They asked stupid questions like what they were whispering to each other about during commercial breaks and if they were working on a recording collaboration. Would Adam come back to judge for season 13? Randy inserted himself with his yo yo yo the hot one tonight declaring Adam Idol’s pride and joy – more flashbulbs. Adam escaped before they started asking Randy about Mariah. She was unavailable for comment. It made Keith feel better about leaving early. Keith introduced Adam to Nicole, and they hit it off immediately. Adam loved visiting Australia because the people were so genuine and downright bawdy. Adam soon learned that Nicole’s cool exterior was just for Hollywood. She was actually quite warm and playful in a naturally sexy way. Her height was appealing. Adam knew they looked good together, sophisticated – old school. There were lots more flashbulbs.

Keith took Adam aside. “The wife and I are going to go ahead. There’ll be a car waiting for you when you’re ready.”

Adam’s own car and driver were a source of security for him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to give that up. “That’s okay. I can follow.”

Keith straightened Adam’s tie. “But, you might decide to stay the night.”

Adam smiled cautiously. He was getting cold feet. Maybe he just wanted to go back to the apartment and zone out. His schedule had been so full lately, he hadn’t had a moment of peace. Maybe a quiet night would be better. He had already waited too long to respond, and Keith made a face.

“Aaadam.” Keith said his name with a lengthy vowel as if he were going to say atta boy instead. “Don’t think so hard. We’re all adults here. Connections don’t always have to be professional, right?”

“Wait. Is this what I think it is?” A camera man called Adam’s name for a picture and that started a whole new photo op for the others. Keith squeezed Adam snugly to his side. They continued their conversation behind plastic smiles. 

“Don’t be shy, Adam. Just say what you mean.”

“All right, fine. Are you seducing me?”

Keith coughed. “I guess you could call it that. Whattaya say?”

“I don’t know.”

Keith put up his hand. “All right, fellas, that’s enough.” The photographers dispersed. He and Adam were alone again. Adam was still listening. “Sometimes Nicole and I have a few friends over. You could meet some new people. That’s all. No pressure.”

Adam took quick inventory of his comfort zone and decided to hell with it. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just going to freshen up a minute then I’ll meet you there.”

“Perfect.”

Adam smiled into the mirror. Sometimes his life surprised even him. So what, he was just gonna go hang out with Keith and Nicole, no big deal. What’s a casual canoodle between friends, acquaintances . . . perfect strangers? It couldn’t be any weirder than Val Kilmer’s sleepovers . . . well, at least the bits and pieces Adam could remember of them. Adam had showered after his performance and put on an entirely new outfit to finish the show. Now, he took off the tie, traded the suit coat for his leather jacket, and switched back to the boots he arrived in. He looked accidentally perfect just like he wanted. Adam bagged up his things and gave them to his driver. He let him go for the night. Adam checked his phone, to see how the social media was responding to his return to Idol. It was crazy good. He had several texts from his camp congratulating him and requesting a sit down very soon to strategize, to make use of the momentum. Adam could finally just relax for the evening and enjoy the success. He climbed into the limo and didn’t look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam had felt led around by fate, lately. He wound up back on Idol, then took a wild detour to the hills. He was lost. He'd made a new habit of "going with it" just in case a path of pre-destined breadcrumbs might lead him back to where he belonged, his creative roots . . . or at least to a pain he was used to.

Nicole greeted Adam at the door wearing a babydoll shaped dress and strippy sandals. She looked and laughed totally carefree like a debutante from Fitzgerald’s imagination. She kissed Adam at the corner of his mouth, and he smooched back. Keith took him by the hand to introduce him to everyone. The familiarity warmed Adam completely. They made him feel welcome like an old friend.

It was impossible not to talk about the business when nearly everyone there had a piece of the industry with their coffee in the morning, but it wasn’t all they talked about. Adam had interesting opinions and insights on a variety of topics. Most of the guests were somewhat older than Adam. He impressed them. He was smart, charming, and utterly gorgeous. Gradually, the numbers dissipated, and the party moved to the kitchen for snacks and drinks. Adam felt almost at home.

The lovely hosts had planned a surprise. Nicole had been included on a mailing list to preview extended trailers of potential honorees at the Cannes Film Festival only a week away. They included in the package a short film in its entirety along with the Golden Palm winner of 2012, Michael Haneke’s “Amour.” Adam was delighted. This night wasn’t at all what he expected. He scolded himself for being so cautious. Things couldn’t get any better.

They had a media room with surround sound for them to view their favorite films in the privacy and convenience of their Beverly Hills home. Everyone was getting refills and ready to settle in when the doorbell rang. Nicole exclaimed her delight and ran to the door obviously expecting someone. Keith glanced at Adam. Adam heard a voice he recognized apologizing for being late, hoping he didn’t miss anything.

Nicole glided into the room with a dashing young man in her arms. “Look everybody!”

Keith was grinning. “Well, hello, Zac. Glad you could make it.”

“Sorry I’m late.”

Adam swallowed. Zac Efron was smiling, at once boyish and shy in Adam’s presence. Damn damn damn, white t-shirt and jeans like James fuckin’ Dean. Zac tossed his long bangs out of his eyes and licked his lips. He took his hand out of his pocket and extended it to Adam. “Hey, Adam.”

Adam took it, and they hugged politely. “Hi. It’s good to see you. It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, right after Idol, I think.” Nicole was watching them very closely.

“Yeah.” This was bad, bad, so bad. There was chemistry between them. Adam noticed the first time they met, an undeniable attraction. However, Zac was dating the Disney princess then. As far as Adam knew, he wasn’t seeing her anymore, but that didn’t mean he’d suddenly turned bi-curious. Adam’s filter was way down due to the alcohol and a sudden awareness of his own chilling loneliness lately. Zac was made of spun sugar that would melt in Adam’s mouth like cotton candy.

Nicole clapped her hands together triumphantly. “Well! I’m sure the two of you will get reacquainted in no time. Come on, everyone.”

As they all made their way down the hall, Adam noticed that the guests who remained had paired up like couples. He was with Zac.

There was plenty of seating, but Adam decided to prop up the floor pillows and stretch out a bit. Zac sat cross-legged next to him. Everyone cheered the showing and talked excitedly about the previews they saw. When it was time to watch the feature, they settled in quietly. Zac joined Adam in the pillows.

Adam tried hard to pay attention to the movie but he felt self-conscious, distracted by Zac’s closeness, his warmth. Zac leaned over. “This movie’s sad.”

“It’s supposed to be sad. It’s a love story.”

“You think love is sad?”

Adam looked away. “Sometimes.”

“It’s hard to meet people, I think.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I just get tired of going out. You know? The clubs are . . . “

“The clubs are nowhere. It’s just face time.”

“Yeah, I know, right?” They pretended to watch the movie some more. “Nikki’s cool.”

“Huh? Nikki Menage?”

Zac looked at him quizzically. “Who? No, no, I mean Nicole . . . Nikki.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. It’s been a long day. So you come over a lot then?”

“Yeah, kind of a home away from home.”

“I didn’t know you two were so close. I guess I don’t really know you at all.”

“That’s kind of why you’re here.”

“Oh really?”

“Nicole has a good heart. She likes to put people together, but she meddles.”

“She hooked me up, didn’t she? With you?”

“Well . . .” 

Adam looked over his shoulder and saw that Nicole and Keith were paying a lot more attention to each other than the film. “She hardly knows me. Why would she . . .?” 

“I may have said something.”

“About me?”

“Maybe, in passing. I think my social life has become her pet project.”

“Did you forget to mention you’re straight?”

“I think I sent a mixed message.”

Adam got closer. “So let me get this right. Keith told her I was going to be on the show, and you told her you’d like to see me. And, here I am?”

“Here we are.”

“Wow.” They were silent again, side by side looking at the screen, the flickers of light half illumined their faces like reflections on water.

Adam saw a shadow and turned his head just as Nicole bent over them. “Boys, Keith and I are going to bed. Stay as long as you like. Make yourselves comfortable. She kissed them both. Keith winked from the doorway. 

“Goodnight, mates.”

Adam looked around the room. No one remained. He had no idea when everyone had gone, but he and Zac were alone.

Zac covered his face. “Oh man, I am so sorry.”

Adam started laughing. “A matchmaker. That’s cute. Awkward as hell, but cute.”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. It’s not half as embarrassing as what I thought it was.” 

“What did you think?”

“When Keith invited me over he was really fucking weird about it, how he and Nicole have ‘guests’ sometimes and how we’re all adults. I thought . . . ”

“What? You thought they were swingers?” Zac was tickled by the idea.

“Well, dammit, he was flirting. It was an honest mistake, I swear.”

“You thought they were swingers and you were going to come anyway?”

Adam shrugged. “There are a lot of things I thought I’d never do again.”

“Now you’re single, and . . .”

“I’m not so sure of anything right now.”

“So you were disappointed when you got here.”

“No, no not at all. I was . . . relieved, actually. I’m too old for that shit.”

“You’re not too old. You’re just depressed.” They sat reclined on the floor pillows grateful for the anonymity of the dark. The light from the screen revealed only partial glimpses of emotion on their faces.

“Well, this movie is not helping to cheer me up. I can tell you that.”

“Seriously. You’d think if Nicole was trying to hook us up, she’d have left us some good porn.”

Adam laughed. “I could have watched porn at home.” Adam rolled up onto his elbow. “Or maybe The Postman.”

Zac just looked at him for a second then a smile started to curl his upper lip. “The Postman?”

Adam realized his mistake. “No, fuck! The Paperboy!”

“Fuck the paperboy?” Zac got closer.

Adam made room for him. “It crossed my mind.” 

“You ever make out in a theater?”

“A couple times, damn cock-blocking arm chairs.” Zac kissed him lightly on the lips, and Adam sighed heavily. “I don’t understand straight boys. First Keith and now you.”

“Keith kissed you?”

“No, but he let me think it was him, that he was the one who wanted to swing with me. I think he panicked because I almost blew the surprise about you.”

“How’s that? I didn’t even know for sure I was coming.”

“I was running my mouth like always. It was my fault.”

“It isn’t your fault. I kissed you because I wanted to.”

“But see, for you it’s just a kiss – curiosity, right? For me, it’s foreplay. I can’t trust any of your signals because I don’t know where you’re coming from . . . or where we’re going.”

“Okay then, ground rules. How about some ground rules?”

Adam looked at him quizzically. “You’re really interested?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Just because we’ve met again unexpectedly, it doesn’t mean it’s totally random in the universe. I think we’re in the same place.” Zac kissed him again. “In a lot of ways.” 

This time Adam kissed him, harder. Already the desire to go further seized Adam low in his belly. “So ground rules?”

Zac nodded. “That’s right. Uh, can I touch you with my hands anywhere?”

“Yes.” Adam breathed deeply. “Can I kiss you with my lips, anywhere?”

“Yes.” They kissed.

“And my tongue?”

“Oh god.”

Adam moved slowly. He leaned forward as Zac eased underneath him. At first Adam only caressed the long lines of his body, feeling for tension, but Zac was supple in his hands. Zac brushed his lips from Adam’s collar to his ear. Adam turned his head promising Zac the heat of his mouth before he finally descended down and down owning him completely. Zac gripped Adam’s shoulder when Adam pulled him forward his broad hand pressed firmly at the small of Zac’s back. Zac stopped kissing.

Adam whispered into his ear, “Is this okay? Do you feel okay?”

“Yes.”

Adam smiled against Zac’s cheek and licked his neck. Zac gasped when Adam gently bit him. “You sure?”

Zac nodded. “Yes, more.”

Adam rucked up Zac’s t-shirt and nibbled his ribs. He gradually moved his hand down and rested the tips of his fingers on Zac’s fly. He felt a stirring under the zipper, and Zac spread his legs slightly in response to Adam’s touch. Adam palmed him lazily, altering the pressure – heel, cup, squeeze, pull until Zac was moaning. The pleasure turned painful as his erection swelled. Zac’s breath came in puffs, and he said Adam’s name. 

“Shhhh. I got you.” Adam deftly unfastened Zac’s pants and slipped his hand inside creating a whole new sensation that startled Zac in it’s intensity.

“Ahhh fuck!” Zac lifted off the floor and back down like a wave.

“Good?”

“So fucking good.” Adam sucked on Zac’s tongue and kneaded Zac’s plush skin. Zac grabbed Adam’s shirt front with both hands. He rolled him over and pinned him down. Adam let Zac straddle him. He pulled his t-shirt over his head then unbuttoned Adam's shirt exposing the lush creamy skin of his chest. Zac smoothed his hands over the sculpted roundness of Adam’s pecs and rubbed his stomach in wide circles. Adam stroked Zac’s thighs and squeezed his ass. They slowed it down. Zac appeared to be contemplating his next move.

Adam whispered. “You want to stop? It’s okay . . .”

“No.” Now that Zac had the control, he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Adam rocked slightly. Zac was suddenly aware of the rock under his balls, and he ground in a little bit making Adam grunt. Zac scooted back. His eyes opened wider when he suddenly realized exactly what he was dealing with. Zac traced the arc of fabric, thick and heavy against his thigh. Adam pulled Zac forward by the hips then pushed him back. He did it again, forward and backward in one fluid motion, and Zac got the idea.

“Oh yeah.” Adam was really feeling it now. He was captivated by the vision of Zac above him, gorgeous and glowing. The light from the screen still flickered as the film progressed toward its climax. It glinted off the wetness of Zac’s lips and sparkled in the clarity of Adam’s eyes. The soundtrack, classical piano, was once again audible having been secondary to the melody of their own joyful noise. 

Zac bit his lip. “Ah!”

Adam pushed himself off the pillows. He took Zac’s head his hands. He pulled his hair and kissed his mouth open, probing deeply with his tongue. Adam was devouring him. Zac offered his throat, and Adam took it. 

“Adam?” Zac was breathless. “I want to come.”

Adam clenched his teeth and growled. He put Zac on the floor. He braced himself with one hand then opened his pants with the other. He angled his cock just right to slip the shaft beside Zac’s. The velvety contact was friction enough to make them both fully hard. Adam lowered himself between Zac’s legs and worked his hips like a dancer. Zac moved with him, and they began to succumb. Their lips were too bruised to cling. They just breathed together, face to face.

A memory hit Adam hard, of the last time he made love. He had to look away. Zac felt like he was losing him. He got a hand between them. Adam made room, welcoming his touch. They stretched onto their sides and pleasured each other openly. 

There is something in the universal cry of men in the throes of orgasm that unites them in the most base and natural way. Stripped of pretense, Adam and Zac simply lay in each other’s arms, two parts of an ultimate state – alive. It was a nourishing rush of energy that, for Adam, helped heal the scars of the past year.

The movie Amour was over. It ended the way most love affairs do, leaving questions in its wake . . . leaving the players to wonder how long they’d been under the spell.

“What time is it?” After Adam fastened his pants, he pulled out his phone. It had reached the point when late became early. They dressed swiftly, agreeably. It had certainly been an amazing night. Congratulations on your this and that. Likewise. And silence. There were no words that made any difference to the kitchen or the cabby. Sure you can’t stay? No trouble. No problem. Give my regards. I’ll call you . . . soon. Good luck. Goodnight. Good-bye.

Adam climbed into the cab. He eased into the seat and shook his head side to side. Straight boys – he’d never understand them. Gay boys – he’d never learn to keep them. He wasn’t angry anymore. He wasn’t sad. Adam began to feel like he was finally fucking over it. He stared out the window making deals with half shadows for Hollywood never goes dark. Today, he’d rekindle a spark. He’d remember to trust in his heart. He’d summon the voice, his one deepest love and teach it to tell him the truth . . . to make him a promise, the rarest of treasures, a ‘yes’ by the light of day.


End file.
